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How to Have Hard Conversations with Your Partner

Communication is key in any type of healthy relationship. It’s what helps move the conversation and the relationship forward.

A partner is someone who tends to agree with you, shares common likes, interests, and hobbies, and is on the same page as you through different scenarios.

But the truth is that you and your partner are two completely different people. Although you’re coming together to form a bond and a relationship, it doesn’t mean that you always agree with one another or are on the same page 24/7.

Those are the times when you need to be able to communicate effectively with one another in order to healthily maintain and drive your relationship forward.

Here’s how to have hard conversations with your partner.

Be Mindful of Your Words and Tone

When you’re in a relationship, you’re going to have both positive and challenging conversations. It’s important to always be on the same page as one another, so you don’t want to just skip over the bad or negative conversations. Plus, the challenging times are what make the positive ones even better.

When you do have a tough conversation with your partner, it’s important to be mindful of the words or phrases that you’re choosing to use. For example, using “I” statements can go a lot further with your partner than “you” statements. “I” statements are what help show your partner that you’re taking ownership, while “you” statements can make your partner feel the need to jump into defense mode.

Practice Active Listening

Even if you’re the one who wants to bring up a challenging topic of conversation with your partner, a conversation requires two things: speaking and listening. Make sure that both you and your partner have the opportunity to say what you want to say. When you’re not speaking, you should be actively listening to your partner. This means turning off all distractions. The television should be off. Your phone should be put away. Lean in and engage with your partner. Do not interrupt them. When they’re done speaking, ask questions to help clarify to ensure that you both agree.

Don’t Fight to Win

When you’re involved in a challenging topic of conversation with your partner, it’s important to remember that there are no winners and losers. You and your partner are a team. That means that you both need to come to one, mutual resolution. No one should feel like they’re giving while the other person is taking. You need to both be able to speak your mind, listen to one another, understand where the other person may be coming from, and then come to a mutual resolution and compromise together.

Keep Your Emotions in Check

When talking about challenging topics of conversation, it’s easy to let your emotions do the talking. Try to avoid this. Your emotions can escalate the conversation. It could make your tone of voice or the volume of which you’re speaking change. It could also make you bring up past situations that don’t have any involvement in the conversation that you’re trying to talk about. Make sure you and your partner stick to the topic of conversation and let any past issues stay in the past.

Next Steps

Communicating with a partner won’t be sunshine and rainbows all the time. The challenging conversations may be difficult at the moment, but they’re actually the conversations that can bring you and your partner closer. Communicating with someone isn’t easy, especially if you have a lot of emotions, feelings, and love towards that individual. If you and your partner need a little extra support with your communication style, we’re here to help. Reach out to us today to set up a consultation.

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